


Time to Come Out of Our Shells

by ballchess



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 13:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16874127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballchess/pseuds/ballchess
Summary: Kaoru, bored and with nothing to do on a Friday night, receives a golden opportunity to do something with his friend Chiaki.It comes with a catch. But at the end of the day, you need to break a few eggs to make an omelette.





	Time to Come Out of Our Shells

For Kaoru, any day he didn't have classes ended in one of two ways:

The first is he never gets out of his bed and does nothing on his phone until he bores himself to sleep, which is definitely his go-to, but his second option is getting so drunk he remains in a state of half consciousness, hanging on to individual blades of grass in a yard belonging to someone he hardly knows because his body can't help him stand up anymore.

Presently, he fits into the second as if he is the piece of a jigsaw puzzle that your brother fumbles onto the floor that you never thought would turn up, the single blank spot that tarnishes the fun family activity you started on nothing but a whim for weeks. Instead of a nice and traditional landscape shot, he is instead the missing piece of a puzzle of failure. A puzzle in which no piece involved functions properly, because Kaoru is not a properly functioning human being.

It’s easier to accept in this moment than it ever would be for him normally, with his brain spitting words to himself out at a meter a minute while the mildly wet grass stuffed between each of his confused fingers only continues to slow down his malfunctioning body.

Pitch black save for a single street lamp in the distance, Kaoru looks towards his _friend_ , his _pal_ , his _good ol’ buddy_ who is lying face down about twenty feet away and wonders whether he's drunker than he is or if he's just worse at handing it, if it's because he got the brunt of the backlash or because the sound he heard come from his direction was a snore and he's not actually conscious at all. Kaoru thinks that the top item on his list of priorities is to find out how to get both of them home. But he'd really rather turn and take the detour down _Wonder Where I Went So Horribly Wrong_ Drive instead of his usual route of _Figure Out What The Hell Is Wrong With Chiaki_ Avenue _._

So he starts from the top.

 

ー

 

The day starts the same as any other day he has off. He gets out of bed at 11AM, spends an hour going through his skincare routine, and prepares everything he needs to leave the house before he goes downstairs to try and grab something quick to eat from the kitchen, just to be sure he's ready to make an escape from his family.

And just like every morning, Kaoru is thankful for the fact that he prepared beforehand when he gets caught in a conversation, the type he dreads so much, the type where they ask why he just got up and what he could've been doing last night and he has to tell them he was doing something _very_ important and _had_ to stay up late to finish it all and it was _completely_ and _utterly_ non-negotiable.

Important, like the piles of homework and essays he hasn't looked at in the past three days. Maybe something like cleaning his room or washing the laundry that's started to accrue on the floor since he can't fit it all in his hamper anymore. Something important, like the ten hours of sleep he needed before he could even consider doing any of it.

The monotony of his daily cycle is enough to put him back to sleep, but instead gives him a kick in the ass that's more than hard enough to hurry him out of the house. He shoves the rest of his food in his mouth, gives his thanks, and tells them he'll see them later all in one swift movement.

He considers for a moment that lying to his family is the only thing he's genuinely good at, but he didn't want to think about that. Kaoru waves off, really physically waves off, any further thoughts of his family as he walks down the sidewalk. He doesn't have anything to do today. At all. For once he doesn't even have anything he’s _supposed_ to be doing. Not counting his aforementioned homework, because all his best work is done at the last possible minute. When he literally cannot wait any longer to do it.

It's true. It's really true.

He should be happy about the freedom of being bored. He overslept, sure, but he’s expended a lot of energy over the past week, and as far as he's concerned, he deserves a nice break.

He checks his phone, his notifications still as empty as they were five minutes ago, and he stares at them blankly. After a few minutes there still isn't anything there. And the realization sets in that he isn't actually happy about being bored.

What’s the point of a good break if you have nothing to do?

What could being bored possibly be good for?

His whole body aligns and contorts to his crisis. Each and every step, every time he hears the sound of his foot hitting the ground, it reminds him that some cruel God left him without a plan, without something to do, without anything to distract him, without anybody with a situation adjacent to him to text him. On Friday night? He had to be pathetic to be alone on a Friday night.

God is either dead or he’s a sick bastard who would rather watch people suffer than smite them out of pity. Kaoru laments his loss of faith in silence until he hears a familiar voice yell from behind him.

“Hakaze!”

Kaoru turns around and sees Chiaki sprinting towards him. He watches helplessly as he closes the gap between them. All he can do is watch as Chiaki barrels into him, does all but knock both of them to the ground, and pulls him into a hug.

“Oh, Hakaze! I'm so glad I caught up to you,” Chiaki says, his voice coming out muffled as he burrows himself into Kaoru’s shoulder.

Kaoru pulls every muscle in his face down into a frown. He was desperate for something to do, sure, he said that, and he wasn't trying to deny it, but he couldn’t help but feel he deserved something a little more relaxing than the intensity of Morisawa Chiaki. He could already feel him draining the life out of his body. Literally and metaphorically.

“Wow, it is great to see you,” he says in the most deadpan voice he can muster.

Chiaki lifts his head and shifts his hug to look at Kaoru. He looks legitimately concerned, and for a second it leaves Kaoru feeling guilty. “Are you sure it's great? You don't sound good at all,” he says. “Are you okay?”

“Let go of me.”

Chiaki stares at him blankly, and Kaoru can almost see the gears in his brain start moving as he processes the words he said. After the longest five second pause in the history of the _entire universe_ , he laughs, giving Kaoru three quick, hard pats to the back. “Is getting a nice hug really that bad?” Chiaki says as he lets go of him. “I bet your hugs are great!”

“Don't you dare start barking up that tree.”

“I’d never do that because only dogs bark at trees!”

The huge grin he has on his face is pissing Kaoru off. Any guilt he had previously felt for implying he was a complete pain in the ass was just thrown out the broken window of a moving car. “You've got to be the third biggest smartass I know.”

“Aw, the third?” Chiaki looks away and scratches the back of his head. “I'm flattered, but should I be trying to move up in ranking?”

“No.”

He laughs and quickly knocks the wind right back out of Kaoru. “Okay then, I had something to tell you. I don't wanna get distracted by your kind words and forget what it was. I ran all the way to your house to tell you! I was _so_ lucky you didn't get too far yet.”

“Did you lose my phone number or something? That’s uncharacteristically cruel of you.” Kaoru exaggerates a frown.

“Well, technically, I don't have a phone anymore.”

“Anymore?” Kaoru sighs. “What the hell did you do to it this time?”

“Ok, well, to cut a long story short, I did something that I’ve realized in hindsight was really stupid and it got super broke and I can't afford to replace it for a few more weeks.” He drops his head and avoids eye contact. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“Were you trying to-”

“Please respect my privacy.”

Kaoru tries really hard to roll his eyes to the back of his head. He's been through this so many times he could write a 5-page essay about it, and he would title it “Why Does He Do It? An analysis on Morisawa Chiaki”. It happens in this exact order:

Chiaki does something stupid and is mortified by it for two weeks. In this time span he dodges all questions about it but also brings up vague details about it in conversation at the same time. After he's been given two weeks to properly draft a way to turn a three minute story into one that takes over half an hour to explain, he forces all his friends to hear about it anywhere from zero to four times. Kaoru usually isn't invited to the zero-time club, which should make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like someone really and genuinely cares about him, but since part of his brain is most likely broken he instead longs to live in a world where he doesn't have to hear about all the terrible things Chiaki does to impress people that he actually ends up having to apologize to them twenty-five times for.

Explaining this has really worn him out. He might drop the essay idea altogether. “Then tell me what you came here in such a hurry for.”

“Oh, right! Hakaze, I swear, being near you is enough to make me forget my own head. Good thing it's attached to me!” He knocks on his head twice for good measure.

Eye roll. Chiaki turns himself to dig something out of his backpack, shoving it in Kaoru’s face once he gets a good hold on it. Kaoru points at the piece of paper that's leading out a complete invasion of his personal space. “First of all, and I absolutely need to make this clear before I can even read this flier, you're the one that always changes the subject,” he says.

“No, I’m really not, you make people elaborate on any small thing they happen to mention. And I mention a lot of things, so it's especially difficult.”

“I don't do that. Might be you projecting onto me.”

“You do too,” Chiaki says, inching his face closer to Kaoru for emphasis.

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do-” Kaoru stops himself. Chiaki just did it again, just like he did earlier and just like he always does and he’s _right,_ god _damn_ it! Kaoru grabs his shoulders and shakes him. “You literally just did it again!”

Chiaki grabs Kaoru’s wrists and shakes him back, the sound of his flier crinkling completely ignored. “Stop shaking me!”

“Give me one good reason!” Kaoru shouts. He is shouting. This is getting embarrassing

Chiaki stops, brings their shaking to a standstill, and stares Kaoru in the eyes. He creases his brows in concentration as he continues to stare. “Now, Hakaze, I'm sure we both know it's a hero’s duty to put a stop to any fight he sees, even the ones that involve him,” he says, and his serious expression falters for a brief moment until he nods, as if to confirm to himself, _yes, that’s right_ , “and, it might be even more important if it involves him! So I must stop us both here. I can't let this get any more out of hand. And, I mean, after all’s said and done, how could a hero learn and grow if not by overcoming adversity from his adversaries?”

He grins and waits for approval. He is so weird.

“Adversity from his adversaries?”

Chiaki shoves the flier back in Kaoru’s face. “Read the paper!”

So, he reads what looks like an advertisement for a party being held tonight in a complex near campus. It just so happens a party was exactly what he had been hoping for. But it comes with one _teensy_ little catch. The guy throwing it is an asshole and he drives Kaoru crazy. Which is pretty miniscule when you think about it. His name is Sena Izumi, a good-looking and, for some reason he can't even wrap his head around, popular guy who just happens to be filled from head to toe with piss and vinegar. And if he's vinegar, Kaoru and Chiaki are oil.

Of course, Chiaki makes it clear that he already knew Kaoru would have the knee-jerk reaction of _Fuck no, are you kidding me?_ and has prepared approximately one thousand and four reasons why they'll end up having a good time anyway.

At the very least, it has to be better than sitting in boredom and throwing crumpled bits of paper into trash cans. It doesn't matter how classic playing basketball with trash is. It sucks. He says this to Chiaki and he throws the flier at him.

They walk together, argue for about three minutes, and somehow land right in the middle of a civil discussion about the party. Twenty minutes worth of footsteps and half-hearted swear words pass before they finally come to an agreement.

They'll have to be pretty drunk before they can put up with him.

So that’s the plan.

Slamming vodka in the middle of a public park isn't glamorous, and it’s probably illegal in more than one way, and if it isn't it really should be, and that new law should be put into effect and enforced as soon as possible, and by as soon as possible Kaoru means after he's finished doing it himself, in the manner of a true politician. He proposes this idea to Chiaki, Chiaki responds with shock and disgust, and now that he's thinking about it he doesn't even know why he expected him to go along with it in the first place.

“There are children there, Hakaze! That had better be a joke.”

He actually did think it was a solid idea. “Of course it was a joke,” he says to save face.

Chiaki crosses his arms. “It wasn't funny! Even if I manage to forget about how it'd be in front of all those impressionable children, vodka is _awful_ ,” he says, and with how pure the look of disgust on his face is you'd think it was trying to recede back into his skull, “I don't like it even a little bit.”

“I thought nobody liked it. Doesn't it just exist for the purpose of getting smashed for cheap?”

“It’s a bad purpose to begin with! Drinking alcohol is bad for you. It’s a bad message. I can't ever let the children see me succumb to something so evil.”

Kaoru scoffs. “Oh, so now I’m supposed to think of a way to get you drunk that doesn't involve alcohol?”

Chiaki raises his eyebrows and rests his head on his hand. “Oh, you're right. My bad. I already agreed to the alcohol part.”

Kaoru squeezes his temples. He sighs.

Chiaki is impossible, and he's back to square one.

 

-

 

Kaoru isn't exactly proud of how he spent the past few hours, but he’s too drunk to care and he doesn't want to talk about it.

Chiaki, just as intoxicated, runs ahead of him to the door of Izumi’s complex. He yells something that sounds completely incoherent, and at this point Kaoru honestly can't tell if he is just too far away to parse the words coming out of his mouth or if he really did just say some garbled nonsense. It isn't too far fetched to assume his brain is working too fast for his mouth to keep up with considering how much energy he has in him. He doesn't know how he can afford to have so much goddamn energy.  Watching Chiaki jump up and down is making him nauseous. And he can't even convey how pissed off he'll be if he vomits before they even get in the building.

“Can you calm down before you give us both ulcers?”

“I can't when we're so close,” Chiaki shouts louder than is appropriate. He shifts around a little before coming to a stop. At least, as close to a stop as he can, and it makes it clear he actually is trying to tone it down despite his apparent protest. “Aren't you excited?”

Odds are, the feelings he has rocking around in his stomach are legitimate excitement. But that’s a lame thing to admit to. “Excited? Come on, am I five?” It’s a lot easier to be rude than genuine.

Chiaki laughs and beams in Kaoru’s direction, but he's probably just waiting for him to shut up and walk through the door he's been holding open for an entire minute. He shuts up and walks through.

The building is entered, Izumi’s dorm is located, and judging by how they can hear the music blasting all the way from the elevator, they're the perfect percentage of late, and Kaoru will live through the nausea he got from riding in an elevator with Chiaki even if it means he gets kicked out for losing his lunch on somebody.

They spot Mr. Host within seconds of walking in and the glare he shoots in their direction is almost intimidating enough to send him out through the door frame he spent so long trying to get into. Either that or he's mistaking a full bladder for fear. Luckily he doesn't stray from his seat, thoroughly surrounded by people kissing his ass and laughing at his jokes.

Kaoru hopes this isn't all some big mistake as he watches Chiaki make a beeline for the snack table for a moment before following right behind him.

Is he really about to get another cupful of beer? “Moricchi,” he says just to get his attention.

Chiaki turns around so fast he wobbles, his loud voice fitting right into the music shaking them both. “Hakaze! How long have you been there? I missed you so much.”

“I've been with you the whole afternoon. You really do not need another drink.”

Chiaki looks down dejectedly at his cup. “Will it be alright if I eat some pretzels first?”

“Yeah, that sounds better,” Kaoru says, as his  judgement isn't presently at it's best either, it comes off as no surprise he sees logic where it isn't. “Oh, make sure you fill it up all the way. I think you'll need as much as you can get in your mouth.”

Chiaki's eyes, still transfixed on the cup, widen. “That's so many fucking pretzels.”

 

-

 

Approximately twenty-five minutes later, Chiaki's  almost done with his pretzels and Kaoru finishes up after spending half of that time in the bathroom. For him it had been agony as Chiaki never abandoned his station at the door and every moment spent on the toilet was filled with the crunching of his pretzels and a hundred different conversations he tried to start.

Both of them decide they deserve another drink, and after grabbing them they end up in the kitchen, ogling everything in it and making jokes about it all, examining and mocking it from the ground up. After opening the fourth of many cabinets they were absolutely not allowed to look into they hear a shout.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?”

Kaoru and Chiaki turn slowly towards the entrance of the kitchen, closing the door they were looking in, well aware of what they're turning to look at, trying the absolute hardest they can to turn so slow they'll never end up turning around at all, stuck in the motion for all eternity because maybe if they don’t make eye contact he will go away and all will be forgiven.

“This is my kitchen, not a playground for stupid kids.” Izumi scowls and steps out of the door frame. “Are you listening to me?”

“Oh, excuse us, we were just trying to think of where you got all these,”  Chiaki says, picking up some sort of steel cylindrical thing that's filled to the brim with different shapes and sizes of wooden spoons they had been laughing at two minutes prior. “It's like… What! There's so many, it's really cool, I just can't get over it!”

“Yeah we're just like… Trying to figure out, like what do you do with all of these?” Kaoru tries his damnedest not to laugh, but breaks just as he says, “you really live like this?”

A sharp pain settles in his leg as his brain processes that Chiaki just kicked him for being an asshole.

“I need different spoons for different uses. Are you so damn stupid I need to explain cooking to you?” Izumi is getting uncomfortably close to them.

He's close, too close, far too close and Kaoru can't help but fidget as he racks his brain trying to figure out a way out of this. He thinks. And he thinks. And he thinks some more…

And after what feels like an eternity, the solution he comes up with is that he cannot fix this. This cannot be fixed. Appeasing Izumi is no longer an option now that he's gotten him started. But, he decides this that isn't necessarily a bad thing. He decides it'll get better, it'll be even _funnier_ if he just makes it worse. “No, you don't, I mean, I'm pretty good with cooking, like I might have to put these to use and show you just how good I am with cooking things, you know.”

Chiaki gives him a look, fear widening his eyes and opening his mouth.

And Kaoru stares back.

His eyes narrowed as he looks back at him, Chiaki's face eases up as if the telepathy he's always wished for just set in and it's made him realize that Kaoru has a plan. He turns towards Izumi. “He's amazing! It's incredible. I'm not joking. If you let him look in the fridge and like, pick some stuff he can reallyー”

“No.” Voice stern and non-negotiable, Izumi furrows his brows and crosses his arms.

“You know, this party’s really missin’ something,” Kaoru starts, looking towards Chiaki for a moment before facing back towards Izumi. “You got some eggs? These people probably want some omelettes.”

Izumi steps ever closer, his hands digging into Kaoru's arms, his face grimmer than he's ever seen before, “if you start cooking in my kitchen,” sharp inhale, “I just want you to realize that if I attack you it's justified as self-defense. I can and I WILL maim you.”

“'Kay, okay, no eggs, no omelettes,” Kaoru says as he raises his hands in forfeit. “Promise. No eggs. Sorry.”

“I'm going to go back to my party, yes, _my_ party,” Izumi stops and grabs Kaoru by the collar, knocking him off balance as he pulls his face right in front of his own. His voice is no higher than a whisper as he says, “and I will fucking _snap_ if you start making eggs.”

Pulling himself back ever-so-slightly, Kaoru salutes to him. “Yes, sir. Understood, sir.”

Izumi forcefully releases Kaoru from his grip, sending him back against the counter before walking out of the kitchen and back into the living room, and both of them release a heavy sigh once he disappears from their line of sight.

“I can't believe how badly you pissed him off,” Chiaki says, looking towards Kaoru, and he can’t quite tell if his face is trying to describe that he's concerned or just very tired. “Is it really that bad of a crime to rifle through a man's cabinets and try and use his eggs?”

“Dunno.” Kaoru finds his cup and downs the rest of the beer he had all but forgotten about. “Wanna find out?”

“But,” and this time it is definitely concern on his face, “but he just said he was gonnaー”

“Fuck it. Why don't we do it anyway? What's the worst he can do to us?” Kaoru straightens himself up, no longer relying on the counter he was leaning on, and goes to grab one of the skillets hanging from behind the stove. “He gonna infect us with stubborn bitch disease, or what?”

Chiaki blinks.

“What's it gonna be Moricchi?” He holds the pan out towards Chiaki and watches his eyes widen as if the gesture is the most amazing thing he has ever seen. “Your fear of Sena, or your loyalty to me?”

“You are so cool, Hakaze!” Chiaki’s eyes shine brighter than any star that ever graced the night sky. “I'm gonna find the eggs right now!”

He _is_ so cool. He can feel it, and it's going straight to his fat head.

 

ー

 

Armed with two wooden spoons, a wooden spatula and two dozen unfortunately non-wooden eggs, Kaoru and Chiaki are ready to start their work. Chiaki is in charge of holding the individual eggs and trying to keep them steady as Kaoru wacks them in half with his marvelously luxurious wooden spatula.

They manage to get what kind of looks like 9 eggs into the pan, with approximately five more laying on the surface of the stove since having two people work in tandem to crack eggs seemed _much_ easier and _way_ cooler before considering the fact that they're not only completely sauced but they're also idiots who currently have no business trying to operate a stove. After a dozen and a half sloppy, drunken strikes hit Chiaki's hands, he refuses to hold the eggs anymore and they have to settle and use what eggs they had already scavenged. Feeling it looks kind of empty considering how many people are at this party and how badly he wants to piss off the host, Kaoru commands Chiaki to stir up the eggs while he rifles through the fridge to see what he can find.

Diced tomatoes? Throw them in the pan.

Yogurt cups with fruit on the bottom? Toss in some of that.

He grabs barbecue sauce, fresh herbs, a chocolate bar and some leftovers that he can't quite identify before switching his sights to the wonders of his freezer. There's nothing in it that really grabs his eyes until he spots a package of turkey patties in the very back. After he grabs them he decides he's gotten enough additions for his shitty omelette. He's actually pretty proud of his haul.

“Ok, I'm gonna start putting these things in,” he says, gesturing towards the pile he acquired.

After a quick glance over at Kaoru's pile, the light in Chiaki's eyes come back full force as he throws his wooden spoon to the floor, doubled over in the most maniacal laughter Kaoru's ever heard come from his mouth. “That's awful! It's honestly the worst thing I've ever seen,” he shouts out once he manages to catch his breath.

Kaoru shushes him. “You gotta calm down, man. I know it's brilliant but we need to be able finish making this before he catches us.” He thinks for a moment. “Do you have any more of those pretzels?”

Nodding, Chiaki grabs a back-up wooden spoon. “Yeah, I already put them in.”

 

ー

 

Fifteen minutes pass.

Kaoru and Chiaki have filled a skillet with the worst eggs they could possibly make.

After a quick coin flip, it's decided that Chiaki gets to have the honor of presenting whatever the fuck they're trying to pass off as food to Izumi. He holds the handle with both hands, half because he's nervous and half because it's actually pretty heavy and he's also pretty drunk and after watching him wobble in place for two minutes Kaoru wonders if he's even gonna make it over there.

But there's no chance in hell he's going to do it himself.

He spots Izumi sitting on a really comfortable looking chair, he decides he'll call it his throne, with two people he's obviously _very_ interested in standing at either side of him. He directs Chiaki towards the throne as if he were an airplane about to take flight. Kaoru makes his way through the other entrance to the living room hoping to get a good view of the chaos that's about to come.

Each step he watches Chiaki take makes his heart beat faster, his body filling with enough adrenaline to kill a small child. He watches, Chiaki's courage unfaltering, as he arrives right in front of Izumi. “Excuse me! If I could have your attention!” Chiaki shouts at what might be the top of his lungs.

Izumi looks towards him, his face twisting with a strange and unpleasant combination of disgust and rage as Chiaki bows and lowers the pan's contents to his eye level.

“Here are your eggs, sir!”

Within seconds of the words leaving his mouth, Izumi's hands cover Chiaki's. “What did I fucking tell you?” He shouts as he yanks the entirety of the pan out of Chiaki's hands and onto the floor, the contents of it too congealed to escape from the confines of the pan even after he sends Chiaki flying down right beside the project. “I told you, I fucking _told you_ not to fuck around in my kitchen!”

Sweat drips down Chiaki's face as he turns away from Izumi's aggressive gesturing to look at Kaoru. With wide eyes full of fear piercing through his very soul, time stands still as Kaoru fully grasps what he hadn't stopped to think about for the entirety of the party.

That his actions have consequences.

That making a careless decision has made Izumi lose his mind, that they are the victims walking with giant red targets on their backs.

All the people attending the party are caught between trying to distance themselves from the scene and forming a crowd, an almost perfect circle of witnesses surrounding Izumi and his prey. He grabs Chiaki's arms and yanks him back up just enough to drag him across the floor, shoving person after person out of his way as he shouts, “Out, out! Get the fuck out of my house, now!”

The door opens, the door closes, and after one moment they're far enough away where Kaoru can't hear either of them scream anymore.

Eyes glued to the omelette-filled pan that's laying perfectly intact on the floor, a few minutes pass before his brain restarts and the front door is opened again. Looking up, he feels Izumi's eyes pierce right through him, back to give him the same rude removal he gave to Chiaki.

Izumi points to the floor without breaking eye contact. “Pick up the pan.”

Kaoru's thoughts are more scrambled than the eggs. “I’mー What are youー”

“Pick up the fucking pan, now!” Izumi shouts, giving the ground a hard stomp for emphasis.

He crawls forward, grabs the pan, and all the fine details start to blur as he's dragged outside of the building. By the time he snaps back to the present, he's sitting in what he can only assume is the alley behind the complex he was just in. Standing in front of the dumpster, Izumi glares down at him as he yells something at him about throwing away the eggs. The details fall flat against his ears and as he watches Izumi's mouth move without any words to accompany it, and Kaoru considers he might have blacked out for a few minutes. It's even possible he's still unconscious. After being made to wait long enough Izumi grabs his wrists, _again_ , his fascination with grabbing their wrists was really starting to get weird, and uses Kaoru's arms to forcefully bang the eggs out of the pan and into the dumpster. After every last piece of egg is gone he drags him back to the front lawn and abandons him there.

He looks at his surroundings and sees Chiaki was hoisted to about the same place.

Kaoru blacks out again.

 

ー

 

After three loud raps come from the other side of his door, Kaoru's eyes jolt open. His eyes dart to his alarm clock. _TWO-FOURTY-SIX P.M._ Trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes, his brain receives an extra kick of wake-up juice as a loud voice, presumably the one behind the knocks, speaks up.

“Hakaze!” it shouts.

Within four blinks of his eyes, he's already solved the mystery. “Moricchi?”

His door opens and Chiaki's head peaks into the room. “Ah, Hakaze, I'm so glad to see you,” he says, making his way into the room, “I’m sorry I couldn't come yesterday. I couldn't stop worrying about you. Are you feeling alright?”

Two days have passed since they got kicked out of Izumi's party. Since he knows Chiaki had class on Saturday and Kaoru was too hungover to brave the light of his phone screen to check Google and see if there had been any news articles about an adult male dying of alcohol poisoning and/or hypothermia, he had no confirmation that Chiaki was even alive. It’s a relief seeing him again after the crazy night they had. He can’t decide if he didn't want to talk about it yet or if he really, really wanted to talk about it.

“Oh, uhh, yeah. I'm fine, feeling fine, man,” Kaoru stammers as if he had just woken up. “I just woke up. Sorry.” Chiaki shifts awkwardly where he's standing, and Kaoru can tell he’s feeling the same way as him. Relieved. Relieved, and a little embarrassed, but mostly like a weight's been lifted off his shoulders.

“No, I'm sorry,” he starts, and from the tone of his voice and the fact that he's already started talking with his hands, Kaoru's vast experience tells him he's about to get an earful.

And he doesn't think he's ready for it.

“I really wish I hadn't broken my phone so I could've checked up on you, seen if you were alright, but I couldn't, and I couldn't even let you know I was coming, so I thought I should get over here as fast as I could so I could make sure you were alright, you know because you could've thrown up in your sleep and choked on it, or your liver could've shriveled up and killed you overnight, or something, I don't know if that can even happen, but maybe dehydration got to you because even though I try to make sure you're drinking water I don't think you're taking it seriously, or something likeー”

“I was sleeping.” Kaoru cuts him off as he props himself up on one elbow. “Can I have a moment to wake up? Please?”

Still standing there with his face conveying a dozen emotions, Chiaki shuts his mouth, which is concerning. It makes Kaoru feel bad. Which makes him realize he didn't even ask if he’s ok.

“Are you alright? I know you had it just as rough. I mean, probably worse, you had to go to class and all. I'm sure you didn't skip it. Must've been hell.”

The concern on Chiaki's face softens. He tells Kaoru the sparse bits of his class he can remember and that he had to leave two-thirds of the way through to vomit, and his professor didn't want him to come back in, so he doesn't know how his professor felt about his terrible paper, nor does he really even know what he had turned in. Kaoru suddenly wishes he had done more than lay incapacitated in bed. After they're all caught up and Chiaki's calmed down enough to speak at a normal pace, the topic shifts back to the party.

“Let's never do that again,” Kaoru says.

Chiaki plops down at the foot of Kaoru's bed. “Aw, don't say that! Wasn't it fun?”

“I had fun before I had to seriously wonder if Sena was about to kill me.”

“Then we won't include him in our next bonding exercise. So please don't say never,” Chiaki says as he pats Kaoru's leg too hard.

Kaoru's expression stiffens. “Bonding exercise?”

“You don't think we bonded with each other there? I really feel like we're closer than ever!”

Kaoru stares at Chiaki and offers him nothing but blinks.

“All that weird stuff, like with Sena, and his weird kitchen, and the eggs,” Chiaki waves his hands around, presumably trying to kick back up his memories, “and, and all the other things! We went through all of it and we're stronger now because of it, and, and it's likeー it's like we're egg brothers now! You know?”

“The egg brothers,” Kaoru echoes as he sits up.

Chiaki bounces up and down. “You like it?! So you agree with me now?”

Kaoru laughs. Maybe they had bonded more than he realized. Chiaki was so upset at the thought of this being their last mistake they make together, and he was right to be. “Yeah, I do. And you know what, I take it back. There's no way this can be the last time we raise hell together. The egg brothers have got to strike again.”

Chiaki jumps on top of Kaoru and pulls him into a hug, and for once in his life he hugs Chiaki back.

They've been egg brothers ever since.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading my fourth fic EVER. i'm getting so good at this "writing" thing. :^)
> 
> [inspired by this](http://peoplegettingreallymadatfood.tumblr.com/post/157051513236/peoplegettingreallymadatfood)


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